Tempus Fugit
by brandstifterin
Summary: Translates as 'time flies'. A lot can happen in eight months as Sahira finds out when she returns to Holby for the first time since she left.


**This situation came to me when planning the next few chapters of 'Just One Of Those Days' and for obvious reasons I couldn't fit it in to that so it's a little stand alone. I think I secretly would have quite liked this to happen on the show *evil laugh*. **

She stands for a moment outside the familiar wooden doors, along a familiar corridor and feels as nervous as the first time she met him however many years ago. Taking a deep breath to calm herself, she tries to hide her nervousness and before she can change her mind, she raises a hand.

"Come in," is the response to Sahira's two smart knocks on the office door and she opens the door, stepping into the familiar fifth floor office and shutting the door behind her in one swift movement.

She is glad to be back to see her friend, if a little nervous at the thought of seeing him but she still wishes that they had parted under better circumstances and it has taken her far too long to realise the damage her actions had caused back in April.

"How can I help?" Sahira looks towards the desk in surprise and sees a lady with short, dark brown hair sitting behind it with a polite enough smile.

"Oh," Sahira is caught by surprise, "err, I was looking for Mr. Hanssen. Is he about?"

Sahira watches the polite smile fade from the woman's face, to be replaced with an openly suspicious look, obviously trying to work out what she wants with the Director of Surgery.

"I see," is the eventual response after a long moment of silence and Sahira is starting to wonder what is going on, her question was simple enough. Feeling a bit like a bug under the glare of a microscope, she takes the opportunity to look away and glances around the office.

It seems... different.

Whilst Hanssen has never really been one for personalising his spaces, his houses included much to Sahira's frustration, there are always hints of him if one looks beyond the immediate impression of spartan to the plants, statues and books. Sahira realises that there is nothing here of Henrik's, it is as if he never existed here.

"Where is he?" Sahira asks, her tone containing a bite of frustration which is masking her apprehension. Her focus moves back to this woman in Hanssen's chair, trying to gauge anything from her answers but she is nearly as inscrutable as the Swede can be.

Sahira starts to feel tendrils of worry creep up on her – if anything has happened to him...

"Good question," the woman drawls and Sahira tries to keep her composure, she knows that it is a good question and she wants a bloody good answer pronto. "I don't know."

"Who are you and what are you doing in his office?" Sahira's temper begins to bubble over. Not helped by the woman takes her time to respond, still sizing her up.

"Perhaps you should take a seat?" Sahira contemplates refusing before she capitulates and throws herself into one of the same seats that she has sat in lots of times before, across the desk from her friend. The friend she has treated appallingly, the friend she has come to apologise to, the friend who has disappeared.

"I am Serena Campbell. Acting CEO and director of surgery."

"Wonderful. Where is Henrik?" Sahira knows that being rude and sarcastic is not going to endear her to this Serena Campbell woman but she wants to know where Henrik is.

"And who might you be?" The question throws her, her initial reaction is to rub the woman's nose in it and tell her she is Henrik Hanssen's best friend but she realises that she can't make that claim any more, friends, let alone best friends do not tell each other what she told Hanssen.

_"No, don't, don't email me, don't write to me, don't... send me your research papers for proof-reading because I'm not interested, just crawl back into your private, little isolated hell and let's pretend that we were never friends."_

She cried herself to sleep that night, feeling like a bitch. He's done as she asked and she hates herself for it. _"We were never friends."_ She knew at the time that she was hurting him every time she opened her mouth and she doesn't blame him for his defensive statements. She wanted a reaction from him, she wanted something to suggest that he didn't want her to go, all she saw at the time was his apparent indifference.

"_I simply cannot let you go."_

How short her memory was. He had given her CTU, he had given her everything he could and she still left him. At the time she had wanted to give Henrik and herself a few days before she contacted him and apologised, but then she got caught up in single-handedly organising the move from Holby to Nottingham with two young children while Rafi finished his final few shifts at the hospital. Then she got caught up in her new job and before she knew it, six months had passed.

It was only when the usual, tasteful Christmas card with elegant script didn't arrive, Sahira realised the extent of the damage and how much she did miss Henrik Hanssen. He drove her mad and kept her sane simultaneously, he had been her best friend and she loved him for it.

Unable to take any time off over Christmas at such short notice, she had waited until after the New Year and then took a week's holiday and drove down to Holby to put things right, arriving this morning. It seems that she is too late. Realising that she hasn't answered the woman's question, she mumbles her name, the words starting a torrent.

"Sahira Shah. Henrik and I have been friends for nearly twenty years. We had an argument but I wanted to apologise." She knows she is babbling and forces herself to be quiet for a moment. She takes a deep breath, gathering her resolve before quietly asking the question she needs to know the answer to, "what happened to him?"

"The man disappeared off the face of the planet eight weeks ago." The woman sighs. "And it doesn't look like he is returning any time soon."

"And that's it?" She wants to ask if anyone actually cares whether Hanssen is alive or dead but holds her tongue at the last moment, she might be here to apologise but it has taken her eight months – she is in no position to talk.

"He isn't answering any phone calls or emails." Sahira frowns, that doesn't sound like Hanssen at all, something has obviously happened to cause him to run away in this manner. She hasn't got a clue what it could be, both of his parents are dead and he doesn't have any other family as far as she is aware.

"How convenient, well I suppose you get a nice office out of the deal." She can't help the bitterness of her reflexive response, she can't work out if this woman is pleased by Hanssen's absence or concerned, she seems to be both.

"I sent Ms. Naylor to Stockholm to try and find him last week without any success. However, if you have any further ideas, I'd be happy to hear them." Sahira opens her mouth and closes it again. She hasn't got any further ideas, any ideas at all. She feels useless and she blinks rapidly, determined not to cry in front of this woman.

"I wonder, Ms. Shah," Sahira looks up, hopefully. "Does the name 'Anders Luvbourg' mean anything to you?" She racks her brain, trying to recall if he may have been a colleague or friend of Hanssen's but nothing springs to mind and she shakes her head, apologising.

"It was a long shot anyway. I'm sorry, Ms. Shah. I must ask you to leave, I'm due in theatre in a few minutes – I have a resection of the splenic flexure to attend to." The polite smile is back and Sahira knows she is being dismissed. She rises automatically, the woman following her out and locking the door behind them. Sahira takes a moment to look at the small partially unscrewed metal plaque on the door.

"Good day, Ms. Shah." Sahira nods in response, not trusting her voice to speak without cracking and she watches the other woman stride away down the corridor in red GS scrubs and summon a lift. Eventually Sahira concedes defeat, staring at the nameplate is not going to make it turn into Hanssen's name; is not going to make the man appear.

_'Nothing is so broken that it cannot be fixed.' _

Apparently Henrik was wrong; their relationship has broken beyond repair. Sahira doesn't have anything else to do in Holby, no reason to stay and she leaves the hospital to make the long and lonely trip back up to Nottingham.


End file.
